the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
