today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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