Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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