Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
