my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
