You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
