Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
