the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
