yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
ttyl tear gas
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
