The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
