So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think I won the penis lottery.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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