my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
