remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
