Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
