Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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