So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He did a backflip because drugs
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
