put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
