hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Randomize
