420 ftw
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
