What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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