Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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