just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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