I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
