I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
