eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
