i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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