try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
third nipple confirmed
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
