its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
