dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
