so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
