So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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