so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
