Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
