i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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