you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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