I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
