We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
