What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
