Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
