Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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