Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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