Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
sex in a hospital.. check
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
