Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
