Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
