Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
