just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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