I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
