i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
