i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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