just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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