She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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