Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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