Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
